SPOON, FULL OF TRUTH

A heavy dose of truth, humor, and political activism.

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Location: Phila, Pennsylvania, United States

Friday, March 20, 2009

IRISH MARCH CAME TWICE A YEAR

BREAKING UP IS HARD TO DO
The once strong relationship between former Vice President Dick Cheney and former President George Bush has apparently soured. What could have caused this? Did Cheney take Bush hunting and shoot him in the face? Did Bush leave his toys and coloring books laying around where an aging Cheney could trip over them? While either of those scenarios could easily be the cause of this feud, Cheney is reportedly "furious" that Bush declined to pardon Scooter Libby, the vice president's one-time chief of staff, who was convicted of perjury and obstruction of justice in the investigation into the leak of CIA operative Valerie Plame’s name. How dare the President not take orders from the Vice President?! Bush had already commuted Libby's 30-month prison sentence, but that wasn't enough for Cheney, according to an account in New York's Daily News. Cheney lobbied Bush extensively in the final days of the Bush White House. Bush became so exasperated that he told aides he was through discussing the matter altogether. Cheney should pick his battles; Bush commuted Scooter’s sentence. If anyone deserves to spend time in prison (aside from Bush and Cheney themselves) it is Scooter Libby, and Cheney is upset that Libby wasn’t pardoned from crimes he clearly committed? Shameful! Thank goodness we are done with the Bush-Cheney era. If only we could say the same about the affects of the Bush-Cheney era. Sadly, we will continue to live with those for a very long time.

GIRL SCOUTS SELL COOKIES, BOY SCOUTS SELL…FORRESTS?
When you think of the Boy Scouts, what is the first thing to come to mind? Although I was never a Boy Scout myself, it isn’t Jamborees or their policy of refusing to hire homosexuals that comes to mind; it’s embracing nature. According to the Boy Scouts' website, "Understanding this connection [to nature], and the impact we have upon it, is important to preserving the wilderness, as well as to our own well-being as members of the web of nature." That is why I was very surprised to learn that while the Girl Scouts have profited from the sale of cookies, the Boy Scouts have been profiting from the sale of land! A recent investigation by Hearst Newspapers showed that the Boy Scouts have sold at least 34,000 acres of land to logging corporations, allowing big business to level forests that were supposed to have been preserved for children to learn about and enjoy nature. How can you be a conservationist organization and profit from logging tens of thousands of acres at the same time? You can’t.
In addition, some of the logging in question may have violated state rules. According to the Hearst investigation, one council in Washington State permitted an area to be logged without leaving trees to protect a stream which is home to endangered salmon. This makes me a little sick to my stomach. This would be akin to the Peace Corp selling guns to warlords in order to feed those people displaced from their homes by war. It just doesn’t make sense.
I would like to award the Boy Scouts of America with the following patches:
-The Deforestation Patch
-The Corporate Sell-Out Patch, and
-The Hypocrite Patch

GOVERNMENT AND SOCIAL NETWORKING SITES FORM AN UNHOLY UNION
Many of today’s young adults are beginning to question the benefits of marriage and the federal government has taken notice. The average age for a first marriage is now almost 26 for women and 28 for men. And a growing percentage of Americans aren't marrying at all. Provisional federal statistics released recently report 7.1 marriages per 1,000 people in 2008, down from 10 per 1,000 in 1986. Faced with these numbers, the federal government is funding a $5 million national media campaign that launches this month, extolling the virtues of marriage for those ages 18 to 30. Let’s be very clear about this, our tax dollars are being spent to convince young people that marriage is a good idea. Some research suggests a great deal of benefits for those who marry, including better health, greater wealth and happiness for the couple, and improved well-being for children. This may be true for couples who marry and remain married, but what about those marriages (somewhere near 50%) that end in divorce? Is the government going to step in with $5 million to aid those suffering from the trauma of divorce? Not likely. According to William Galston of the Brookings Institution (a Washington, D.C., think tank) who served as domestic policy advisor under Bill Clinton,
"What we're talking about is a slow but steady increase in the percentage of Americans who don't intend to get married and probably won't. This trend represents a meaningful change in our society. Whether or not it constitutes a problem depends on broader, and contested, propositions about marriage in relation to the common good."
So where did the $5 million go? It was spent on ads on social networking sites Facebook and MySpace, videos on YouTube, spots on radio talk shows, ads in magazines and public transportation, and a new website (TwoOfUs.org).
While there may be benefits for long-term married couples, there are many cons for those faced with divorce. Politicians are not in the best position to understand this. How many politicians face divorce? Many of them stay married because it is what’s best for their career. They also do not face the same money problems that lead to a large number of divorces. The government has always backed marriage offering all kinds of tax break incentives. Furthermore, the marriage title allows partners to visit sick loved ones in hospitals. The list goes on and on. What about aid for those who are getting divorced? Divorce is messy. It can be expensive, traumatic, and altogether difficult. Maybe instead of encouraging young people (who are more than justified in their skepticism about marriage) to marry, the government should spend the money to make divorce easier to handle. Divorce is a fact of life these days. I think more young people would consider getting married if you showed them that there is help for a failed marriage, rather than bribed them with tax incentives. Speaking of which, I hope the marriage of the federal government and the marriage initiative soon sours and ends in divorce.

BIRD BRAINED BARTER SYSTEM
Thank you to my brother Josh for bringing the following story to my attention.
Louisiana resident and career trucker Donna Greenwell noticed a posting on a local supermarket bulletin board that a $1500 Cockatoo was being put up for sale.
A savvy businesswoman and bird advocate, Donna contacted the Romero
Family, who was selling the bird, and offered to trade two children (who she
was watching for a fugitive mother) in exchange for the Cockatoo and $175 in cash. Amazingly, the Romeros accepted!
Those poor kids, traded for a bird. They must have been terribly upset, right? Maybe not. Greenwell was a convicted pedophile with a mile long rap-sheet, so the children might have actually been happier with the Romero Family. One small problem though, The Romero family, along with Donna Greenwell were all arrested. Talk about bird brained. Good thing the Romeros are married. Maybe they can use the money they saved on their taxes to hire an attorney.

MARCH MASCOT MADNESS
March Madness is upon us. The greatest tournament in all of sports kicked off yesterday and I spent the last two days glued to the television watching all of the exciting action. I cover Villanova basketball and I attend all of their home games so I was very happy to see them come back from a fourteen point second-half deficit yesterday (you can check out the recap and a preview of tomorrow’s game vs. UCLA here: http://bleacherreport.com/articles/142069-for-villanova-midnight-comes-just-in-time-for-cinderella-american-university)
Some of the teams in the tournament have great school names and great mascots. I thought some schools could use an updated mascot with a little humor that was a little more in line with the current state of the school (or just made me chuckle) so I compiled the following top-15 list of new college mascots.

15: The Utah “Virgins”
14: The Longwood “Boners”
13: The Columbia “White-Lines”
12: The Coppin State “Dealers”
11: The Fairleigh Dickinson “Unjust Incest”
10: The Tulane “Highways”
09: The Stony Brook “Munchies”
08: The Oral Roberts “Civil Unions”
07: The UCONN “Laptops”
06: The Wright State “Two-Wrongs”
05: The Sacred Heart “Breakers”
04: The Idaho “You-Da-Pimps”
03: The William & Mary “Divorcees”
02: The Rice “Uncle Bens”
01: The Morehead State “Swallows”

If you want the latest news on Villanova's chances in the Sweet Sixteen check out: http://bleacherreport.com/articles/144677-jay-wright-and-villanova-ready-to-duke-it-out-with-coach-k/show_full

TELL THEM WHAT THEY’VE WON
If nothing else you’ve gained a few extra brain cells and the respect of your peers for reading today’s Spoon. If you really want to shine, please share this site with a few people today. You know you want to. I’d like to quickly wish a happy birthday to my father who celebrated it two weeks ago. I love you Pop. I hope everyone had a safe and enjoyable St. Patrick's Day. It was amateur hour as usual in Philly complete with several arrests and green vomit. As long as the Spoon is Full of Truth, may your brain never go hungry. Please check back soon…I’ll be waiting for you.

5 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Glad to see another "Spoon " blog. It has been too long.
I say reunite Dubya, Dick (face), and Scooter. Put them all in Gitmo for their crimes against the world.What a mess they have left as their'legacy". It is crippling the US as it tries to regain its footing internationally and domestically.
As for the college mascots,props on your list. In particular, I loved I-da-ho.Here are my feeble suggestions:
Yale locks
BYU "B"
Dickinson Sinners

Until next time.

March 23, 2009 10:37 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Love your wit. Love the piece about Donna Greenwell and the Romeros. Only in America as they say.Also liked the piece on the Boy Scouts and their selling land to logging interests. Maybe they should start selling cookies .

Keep up the good work.

March 23, 2009 1:10 PM  
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May 16, 2009 10:41 PM  
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January 09, 2010 6:14 AM  
Blogger rockymeet said...

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January 09, 2010 6:14 AM  

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